who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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