he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
