Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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