she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
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Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
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Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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