Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
operation harelip BJ is a go
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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