get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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