Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
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I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
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Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
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