He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
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I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
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We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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