omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
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i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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