Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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