i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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