I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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