His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
They have beer where we have blood.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize