i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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