Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Just pee around me
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
