she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
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