Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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