This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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