sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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