all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize