How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize