he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
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You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
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I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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