I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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