cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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