I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
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I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
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Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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