i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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