doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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