I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
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