Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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