i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize