I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
