Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I'm going to jail i love you
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
splinters make it hard to masturbate
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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