6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize