Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
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I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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