im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
false alarm, still single
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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