I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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