Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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