i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
so let's talk penis.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Randomize