I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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