it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
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