I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
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