barbara walters just said penis...
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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