He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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