and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
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there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
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And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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