I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I wish they made helmets for livers.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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