Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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