i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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