the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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