I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
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