He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
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I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
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